Dating an iranian american man
Show respect for gender customs.
Marrying an Iranian man - Interview with Jean - Life as I know it
In traditional Persian society, men and women do not socialize together or touch each other in greeting, and women are never alone in a room with a man who is not her husband. Gestures of affection that are common among Westerners, such as hand-holding or sitting together on a sofa, may not be appropriate. Talk with your partner ahead of time about the boundaries of social interaction.
Be aware of common cultural misunderstandings. If you are a Western man trying to get acquainted with a Persian woman, keep in mind that Westerners and Americans in particular are often perceived as insular, arrogant and overly aggressive in demeanor. Show sensitivity by allowing your date to set the pace of conversation, and politely asking questions about aspects of her culture with which you are unfamiliar. Western women seeking to date Persian men should be aware that despite the recent trend toward liberalization, egalitarian norms are still the exception rather than the rule.
The point isn't to reinforce stereotypes, but to counteract them with a healthy awareness of your own cultural values and biases. Prepare yourself for unfamiliar etiquette. In most Western countries, etiquette in the home is direct and unambiguous. This is not the case in traditional Persian homes, in which host and guest often engage in an elaborate dance of insistence and refusal known as tarof.
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The purpose of tarof is to allow the host to demonstrate excessive generosity while the guest counters with excessive humility. Because this can appear baffling to outsiders, it is best to stick with a simple rule: If you are offered a gift, refuse it at least once.
Don't be thrown off by the unusual. If you visit your girlfriend's grandparents in Kerman province in Iran, don't be surprised if they light a sweet-smelling herb in a metal dish. It's known as esfand, and it's considered good luck. Of course, not everything in Persian culture is formal and traditional.
Going out for the evening can be as fun and free-flowing as in any Western culture. The simple truth is that like everyone else, Persians are adapting to modernity at their own pace and in their own way.
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Thank you Dianne - may you also enjoy the next 25 tyears with your Iranian husband! Thanks for sharing that! I'm a young American expat about to marry an Iranian man I met while in Korea.
I hope that my married life can turn out to be just as happy as yours is. I love that your profile name is "my love" really cute!
I love this story! I'm really looking 4word to marrying an iranian in the future It seems it's pretty awesome to have Iranian husband. I have to find one. This story seemed nice except for the fact that after 25 years of marriage you say "learn to speak Persian.
Except you do.
It's called Farsi and you clearly don't know a single word of it. Sorry to say, but this sounds like a sad story to me where the culture is lost on an ignorant American women. Not knowing English is not your greatest fault, Nina, being judgmental is. Before giving English lessons to "an ignorant American women", note that the whole article is written in this language and not in the Persian language Farsi , you should check your English. Thank you so much this fantastic interview which gives me much power and lots of positive energy concerning the future relationship with my boyfriend.
I loved to read it! I feel much better and more encouraged than before and therefore i am convinced about a future created together between us.
All the best for both couples!! There should be much more of those encouraging articles in the net.
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I to am married to an iranian man however so far for almost four years, I truely enjoyed your story reminds me of my parents who have been married for 40 plus years my my dad is iranian and my mom is from ok. She lived in iran and even learned farsi unfortunatly I have not nor have my sibillings, I regreat this deeply and have begun rosetta stone lesson and it is one of the reasons I wanted to marry an iranian male. I grew up here in america and my husband in iran, and while he is very modern it has been quite a cultural shock for us both.
I would add to your advice please discuss household cleaning duties before your marry and try to understand what "his" expectations of "good taste or house hold upkeep are" I feel like I will never meet his expectations, even though I try. This is a cute story.
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I have seen several couples with similar stories but mine was very different. I think your marriage to an iranian depends on how much of the culture your iranian spouse brought with them, and how passive you are. My ex wife, and most of her relatives, placed much of their focus on funding and spreading the Baha'i religion, and very little effort towards following the Baha'i teachings.
They did not love their mothers, they were obsessed with them.